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Today was interesting.

I didn’t get a lot of path stuff done. I did the morning pages but that’s about it. No water purification (like I had been doing), no meditation, no card pull. I’ll probably do the card pull when I’m done writing this.

I did some small bit of organization of book files, but nothing of actual writing.

I felt like crap half the day. Just randomly getting angry or upset with others’ behavior, and my own. PMS starting to kick at me? My week had been excellent up til today.

Let’s see. In home room I was rudely manhandled by my home room teacher during the Pledge of Allegiance. Every morning they play the National Anthem and have the Pledge afterward. I always (when I’m in home room) stand respectfully and be silent, and usually do some sort of “prayer” or quick meditation, often on patriotic-themed topics, but I don’t actually speak the Pledge or place my hand over my heart. Today I spent the time in thought on the Fort Hood incident. Interrupting my thoughts, my home room teacher decided she would take it upon herself to lift my arm to “where it should be”.
I said nothing to her. Then I spent my time in the library, before sitting down to do my morning pages, typing up a letter to her, explaining why I don’t say the Pledge or make the gesture and that my reasons for not doing so are valid and that I’m actually in love with this country, especially our military. I went into a lot of stuff, like how my parents were both Marines and how I at one time was seriously considering enlistment in the Navy, and how I see the Pledge as an oath I don’t deserve to take.
I printed it, signed it, tri-folded it, stuck it in an envelope, and put it in her mailbox in the main office.
I haven’t talked to her since then. I await Monday nervously. I’m afraid that writing that letter was a mistake, that she will be angry with me. My logical brain kicks in and asks me why that would be so bad. “What can she really do?” Well, nothing, but she’s not a terrible person and I would rather she didn’t see me badly. I don’t know how to feel, but I guess what’s done is done, right?

I got a hundred on my calculus test. That’s the second hundred this week. I think I wrapped up the first quarter quite damn nicely.

My younger friend asked me for sex advice today. I think of her as part little sister, part younger cousin, so that was weird and awkward.

I drove again. My mother was yelling at me like a lunatic. I did fairly terrible. Didn’t hit anything, so that was good.

I finally got my application for Penn State sent in. I’m 93% certain they’re going to accept me, but I know I’m still going to await their response nervously.

I’m nervous about tomorrow, a little. I’m taking the SAT again. Last time I got a 1970 (R+W+M, 1280 R+M), so I’m trying to get over a 2000, and/or over a 1300 (R+M). The highest you can get is 800 in each of three sections: reading, writing, and math. Some count the reading and math as more important, and so only want to know the total of those two, and up until a couple years ago it was only those two. My current score was actually better than my valedictorian’s, but I wanna break 2000/1300, because that would just be awesome. (Sure, it’s no 2400/1600, but perfection is for robots, not Taylor.)

So that was my day. Eugh.


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