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Inspired by Feithline’s list of things she does well (SpiritsCast 6) and my own feeling dumpy and needing cheering up, I’ve decided to list my own set of skills. =D

Things I Do Well, by Taylor. Er, Crimson. Er, whoever I am.

  • I am absolutely fantastic at learning the lyrics to songs and remembering them forever once I get them down.
    I haven’t heard Dream Theater’s “Another World” in years, but I was singing it like I had just heard it in the shower the other day. I can also belt out “Hotel California” any time I want, and about six million Green Day songs.
  • I’m damn good at scrubbing things when I put my mind to it.
    I cleaned the little metal things under the stove eyes today. All the gunk and gook and baked-on blackened shite? I got it off. Yep. Go me! (Took off enough nail polish, too, but that’s easily fixed.)
  • I’m great at understanding math.
    I’m the first one in my calculus class to understand what he’s teaching us and everyone else always comes to me for help. I also think up other ways of doing or writing the problems, and get them right. (“Isn’t multiplying by x to the negative fifth the same as dividing by x to the fifth?”)
  • I’m top notch at coming up with insane characters.
    Case in point, Lord Adamon Diast, necromancer son of Death who has a history of indiscriminate rape and murder on his hands and plans to kill his own father on his mind. Sheah. He’s nuts.
  • I can toss a simple short story together in about a half hour.
    It might not have a conclusion, but I’ve done some damn good work with flash fiction before.
  • I am a master of procrastination.
    It might wait, but it does get done, and it gets done damn good.
  • I’m really good at visualization.
    I used to be even better; I could visualize entire scenes as if I was there, hearing, seeing, and feeling everything, with my eyes open. (I like to joke with myself that losing my virginity took that power from me, but it was actually laziness and lack of practice.)
  • I like learning.
    Which is good, ’cause I’ve got 8-10 years of college ahead of me!
  • I wrote an insanely fantastic description of a character the other day.
    He was a very fat angry man. I conveyed this brilliantly with a very nice selection of adjectives.
  • I am not addicted to drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes.
    Unlike a surprisingly large amount of people I know. Yay me!
  • I do not sleep with a large amount of people to try and boost my feelings of self-worth. I understand that it wouldn’t accomplish that goal anyway, and do other things, like write insanely fantastic descriptions of characters and make up words.
  • I do not suffer from a need to plaster my face with every kind of make up there is to make myself look “beautiful”. I accept the way I look naturally, whether I happen to like the face in the mirror or not at that particular time.
    (Ever notice how some – or most? – people can look beautiful sometimes and ordinary or even ugly other times? I am definitely one of those people. And that’s fine.)
  • I accept the fact that I do not know everything!
    (Even if I don’t always like to admit when I’m wrong about something.)
  • I enjoy my varied taste in music, even if some people think most of it “sucks”.
    (I don’t understand how my taste in music can suck to Person A when I like all of the same things Person A does, but apparently additionally liking things Person A does not equates to suckage?)
  • I don’t suffer from sleeping troubles. I used to know so many insomniacs, and I may possibly have been one for a long time, so this is more significant than it might seem.
  • I can code in HTML and CSS and some rudimentary PHP. Not many people that I know personally can do this, so it makes me feel kinda special.
  • I’m stubborn. Er, determined. That means that once I decide I’m gonna do something, goddammit, I’m fuckin’ doing it!
  • I’m a fair person, a moderator. (I probably blame this on me being a Libra far more than can actually be credited.) I am able to end arguments (between others) with a single sentence. Hussah!
  • I do not fall prey to the Chocolate Monster. Too much chocolate makes me feel sick. I know when to stop myself, and while that makes me weird among people I know, I think it’s awesome.
  • I am able to think up creative and innovative uses for random objects, like the two halves of a broken salad dish.
    (Putting these ideas into practice is a bit more difficult…)
  • I am able to notice interesting and/or amusing connections between things easily.
    Whether or not such a connection actually exists is often irrelevant, as the main purpose for me doing this is to amuse myself and, sometimes, to help myself remember something.
  • I can eat a whole from-freezer pizza by myself.
    …wait, that’s not a good thing…
  • I can come up with interesting and emotionally meaningful song lyrics. =D
  • I’m a fast reader. Always have been.
  • Speaking of reading, I’ve been doing so since the age of three. That’s something cool.
  • My handwriting does not totally suck!
  • But my signature is unique and unreproducible.
  • I can recognize similarities and “whys” in language easily. (For example, why “unreproducible” is not spelled with an “a”.)
  • I enjoy filling out forms, also known as doing paperwork. Because most people hate doing paperwork, I personally think this is something that makes me a valuable person.
  • …in fact, I enjoy many things that other people find boring and tedious, like research and replacing doorknobs and installing shelving.
  • On that note, I’m a pretty good handiperson, as long as I have instructions or have done the job before.
  • And even if I haven’t and don’t, I can still usually figure out how to do whatever the job is that needs to be done.
  • When I clean, I do so thouroughly.
    This has pissed off a few bosses of mine in the past, because apparently I took too long to do the cleaning, but fuck them, that shit was clean when I got done with it. Not like when the other crewpeople would “clean” and leave the mirrors dirty or leave cigarette butts all over the parking lots. Sure, I spent an hour out there sweeping all the trash up, but I got every last damn piece.
  • When we do warm ups in gym class, I do those fuckers. I get something out of it.
    It’s nice.
  • I’m not terrible at cooking. I can make breaded chicken in wine sauce. And teryaki steak.
  • I can remember lines of books and poems I haven’t read or heard in years.
  • Speaking of, I have a good memory for random snippets of things in general.
    For example, did you know that Connecticut was founded by a Puritan reverend named Thomas Hooker, who did so because he was pissed off at how the other Puritans were running Massachusetts?
    Or that the name “Sylvester” means “silver woods”?
    Or that Rob Zombie once covered the Ramones’ “Blitzkrieg Bop“? (It’s actually really good.)
    Or that Tim Allen’s real last name is Dick?
  • I can play the bass line to Green Day’s “Hitchin’ a Ride“.
    Not that it’s hard, it’s actually really easy, I just enjoy the fact that I can do it.

Well, I think that’s enough, at least for now. I feel much better and you know more about me than you did. (Including how egotistical I am. Ugh.)

The title line is from Rise Against’s “Under the Knife,” another excellent tune.


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